# God is Maths!

1 + 1 = 2

Right?

Prove it.

What does true matter consist of? What is the real component of matter?

Atoms.

Prove it.

And don’t get microscopic on me, because who’s to say the stuff you can see under a microscope is really what’s there? You rely on your sensory experience. But how can you be assured of anything, anything except the contents of your own mind at the present moment? Maybe you just popped into existence a few seconds ago, complete with memories, knowledge and theories.

Surely I couldn’t dream all this up myself, you say.

Well, prove you didn’t. And don’t try using your senses to do that. That would be working upon the very assumption you’re attempting to prove. Total nonsense!

Atoms, again. It’s logical, you say.

Logical, eh? And tell me exactly why the things you observe correspond to your own ideas of theoretical explanations for those very observations.

1 + 1 = 2

I won’t ask you to prove it. Numbers are abstract. And if you held up one finger on one hand and one on the other, and counted two, I’d ask you how you knew your fingers existed, how you knew you were holding up two of them.

1 + 1 = 2

Everyone in their sane mind agrees. Not because they see it, but because it’s the assumption they must make in order to believe in every mathematical process in ‘existence’. Maths is there. You can’t prove it, but it doesn’t go away. It always has been, and always will be.

We say 1 + 1 = 2, and if we didn’t, everything we’d built upon that one assumption would fall through.

God is an axiom, should you choose to believe it.

I am a mathematician. I build my future on earth upon 1 + 1 = 2, and my future in Heaven upon my belief in God.

# Prayers Sell Houses

Yesterday we sold our house.

Let me begin from the beginning. In September 2011 we finally paid off our mortgage (when I say ‘we’, I mean my dad). By March 2012 our house was on the market. My family had lived there twenty years.

Dem old house blues 😦

Last August we moved. It was quite an uprootal, I’ll admit, but the change of scenery brought my general mood out of the shade, so I’m grateful for that.

Anyway, for the past seventeen months we’ve been trying to sell our house in a floundering market. No movement anywhere. Plenty of viewings, but nothing consequential. An exceptionally bad time to be an estate agent, round here. Value may have dropped twenty percent in the past year, but no one has even the eighty percent which our house should’ve been worth. Calamity all round, basically.

In order to hold two properties at the same time we used a bridging loan. High interest. High stakes if we couldn’t sell at a reasonable price. Due to monetary concerns we dithered too long on the house we really wanted, so when that was nabbed from under our noses we had to seize choice two.

And then the market deteriorated and there’s been virtually no movement for months.

How on earth did we sell our house, then, in such a situation? That, my friend, is down to a prayer.

Last week we got an offer. Which is amazing. But it was £60,000 down on what our house had been valued at (houses cost about three times more where I live than they do in most parts of the UK), and it wouldn’t even pay off the loan we took out (never mind the mortgage!).

The next morning the people who’d put in the offer lowered it by another £15,000. The bank had withdrawn its original loan, due to the awfulness of the market. But we thought we might have to take it if we ever wanted to sell the house.

We wanted the family to have it… A young couple with a small boy and another one on the way. Loved our house seven months ago and haven’t had another viewing since. And the boy liked the mirrors. Under the lowest bookshelf in the old playroom. My brother used to line up his matchbox cars and look at them in the mirror.

You can just about see the mirrors under the lowest shelf, I think? And don’t trust these lying cameras. This room is SMALL.

Then my mother found a ‘Novena to St Joseph for Selling One’s House’. A Novena is a nine-day prayer course, in which you follow a given prayer format, pray a few Our Fathers and Hail Maries and Glory Bes, and leave it to God. St Joseph is the saint to which our church is dedicated, and a Novena for selling a house addressed to St Joseph seemed just exactly what we needed.

For the past six days my mother, brother and I have been performing the Novena. It only takes five minutes or so–seems almost too easy, and my mum doesn’t like it because she thinks it’s like making a bargain with God.

But then…

St Joseph

Yesterday morning during the part which in the programme says ‘insert exact request here’, my mother said something like, “I pray we sell our house for a comfortable amount of money that doesn’t mean we have to dig somewhere else to pay off our loan. If you could change the bank’s mind, and get a bit more money from somewhere. Not for money’s sake, but where we plan to put it. I don’t know how feasible that is…”

A direct prayer directly answered. She thought she sounded greedy the first time, asking for more money, but I told her we weren’t the ones to judge whether we were greedy or not. Evidently, says God, we never meant our plea out of greed.

My old writing base in the very far corner. Fond memories…of other people reading over my shoulder. I got paranoid.

Two hours later we got a call to say the buyer’s bank had upped its offer again, and my parents accepted.

Of course, it may fall through before long; but after so much trouble, it can’t be a mere coincidence. If God didn’t lever that offer to the satisfaction of all, I’ll eat my birthday presents (not merely the edible ones).

The ‘new house’. Feels like a new start all over again.

All this means I have to share my birthday celebration with a house sale. And do you know, I can’t think of anything better!